How to Heal a Broken Heart

 How to Handle a Broken Heart 

The Five Stages of Grief 

Denial 

    To hurt me? They would never. The nights of lengthy conversation and the sweetest of words could never tear me apart. Why would they? It is impossible, inconceivable to even utter into the world... You thought that their love for you, repeated at least once a day with each good morning text, really held any significance in their meaningless life. 

Anger

    So the person you thought would accompany you on this adventure that we call life has turned out to be a right foul git. After the countless sessions, the conversations that left you feeling more and more secure... They make you out to be the villain, the one who pulled the plug on your forever romance. Since it is easier just to blame you for the failure of your relationship than it is to assume the role of an adult. TO deny any and all accountability. God forbid it, the heavens could never understand how truly worthless they were as a human being.

Bargaining

    Was it always your fault? If you could change your fate, would you? Would that have really changed the outcome? Maybe if you had given in to their demands, maybe if you had held your head down instead of fight back, maybe then things would have ended differently. Should you have had to compromise yourself and your morality for the fickle pleasures of a person who valued their own feelings a million times over your own? Was that going to make you happy? Happier than you are at this very moment?

Depression 

    The pits. We are in the deepest hole, tucked away in the darkest of nights, shrouded by the blackest of shadows... where light could never penetrate. Your eyes have been red ringed and puffy for far too long, your tears staining your cheeks as the roll off in raindrops to the ground below. Pain, the thought of mourning a friendship, a relationship, a person that you thought would never abandon you. How easy it was for them to regard you as nothing, not even worthy of a mere glance or a forced hello. Was there ever genuine care, or did you just make that up as some way to console your wounded soul? The mere idea that you were wanted, but for all the wrong reasons is crushing. It lays against your chest and plays in your ears like a radio that just wont shut off. How did we even get here? 

Acceptance 

    Who knows how long it will be before you see yourself the way I see you... it could take weeks, or even months for you to finally put yourself in the front seat, to take hold of your life and start living, truly and unapologetically for yourself. They are not worthy of your pain, they are not worth your time, they are not worth your tears, they will never be worth more than a single section of your hair. You are the beginning and the end, the sun and the moon, the ocean and the tides! To hell with their indignation, their pettiness, and their inability to take accountability or to much less dare to mature. 

Healing is Never Easy 

    You deserve a sky full of stars, a forest full of tress, a golden retriever named Mr. Peanut Butter and above all, you deserve to choose yourself each and every time. Because nothing ever lasts forever, one day even I shall become dust, I too will fade into the background and become a memory you retell to feel closer to me. In the end, you are what truly matters, you are the universe and everything good in it. So love yourself wholly and pull yourself together you cosmic beauty. You deserve a love so beautiful that it brings the world to life, and no matter what, you deserve a wonderful life. 

    They do not call it the healing process for nothing that I can assure you of. For a process it surly is, having to pick yourself off of the ground each and everyday becomes a chore. We start making excuses for ourselves, for others, and then soon enough we convince ourselves that that is the love that we deserve. 

We Accept the Love that we Think we Deserve 

What are the languages of love?

They are a way to communicate your love on a deeper plane of understanding. These languages are often times used as a way to communicate affections without the use of words, but dangers lie within each one of these:

Words of affirmation

    The simplicity of simply being adored and hearing someone affirm the very best of you. Its hearing how well you have done despite the growing pains and displeasures. Yet how easy is it really to lie? White lie or not, and yes even a lie of omission, a lie is still a lie. Especially, when the one you lie to the most, is yourself. 

Acts of service

    A helping hand, the reminder that, although brief in interaction, their support will never faulter. Its showing physically that you can be counted on time and time again. Yet who helps the helper, especially when you do not ask for help. 

Gift giving 

    A gentle way of reminding someone that you thought of them, that the thought outweighs the item a million times over... until you associate feeling better with the pleasures of shopping, and now overspending has become an issue. 

Quality time

    Innocently spending time with the people you care about in order to foster a deeper connection with them... but as soon as something is amiss, or things go sideways... you will self-isolate. In the pit of despair, when others wish to spend time with you, what will you do?

Physical touch

    Feeling the warmth and tenderness of the one you crave affection from can feel intoxicating. The pure reassurance of extending your hand and having someone reach back can feel like you are sipping from the most delectable honey. Yet the hollowness of an empty bed, or the echo of someone's touch lingers and breeds avoidance. What do you do then, when you no longer have the strength to reach out to the ones reaching for you? 

Love is said to be patient, love is said to be kind, love is said to be remorseful and beyond sublime. However, in the brevity that has become the first quarter of my life I have learned a thing or two about love. She is selfish, she is bothersome, she is allencompasing and sometimes frivolously boastful. One day maybe she will bother me no more with such superfluous emotions and perilous fear and profound sadness. But for now, in this moment, I will gladly fester and listen to Tomoko Aran's Midnight Pretenders as I dream of a path colored by rose glass and thornless bushes. 

With love,

Little Lady Blossom